Monday, October 7, 2013

FOG

The last few weeks have been HARD. I feel like things have been stirring, changing, difficult for a while now, but fairly recently have they really surfaced. I feel stuck, chaotic, sick. The Lord has revealed some pretty deep idols in my life. Things like control, the need to be productive & useful, the idol of what I WANT my parenting/life to look like. These are not easy things. They are normal things for what, I believe, most mothers deal with, but they are not things for me to just accept as normal & leave be. While I feel like I'm walking around in a total fog as every aspect of my life falls into complete chaos, I'm choosing to be thankful.


It's not easy. I would rather ignore the promptings from the Lord & just continue doing life MY way. But, I am thankful. Thankful that God is using this parenting thing to break me down, to chip away at idols & the control I feel like I need to have over my life. While I walk through this, I will continue to be faithful, cling to truth, call out to God & allow Him to change me. In the midst of the chaos that is so difficult for me, I will focus my thoughts & walk through the fog. 
I'm not sure if any of this even makes a lick of sense. It honestly doesn't even make perfect sense in my fogged up mind. I just want to be real. I want to write down the hard things, because I know the faithfulness of the Lord & how sweet it is to be reminded of the past. So, instead of some cute pictures of my kiddos today, you get the raw real truth of my heart. 

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."
Isaiah 26:3

6 comments:

  1. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3 Love you friend and hate that you're going through a hard time but so thankful to know a woman who fights to seek God and His will for her.

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  2. Thanks for sharing, I can definitely relate. God is always showing me idols that pop up and I'm like "What? Again? I have to deal with this? Again?" And like you, I'd rather do things MY way...but also like you, I'm sooo thankful he chooses to discipline me because the Lord disciplines His true children. How scary if He truly let us go our own way, out from under his wing of protection.

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  3. This makes all kind of sense to me. Praying for you through the fog.

    xxoo

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  4. This makes all kind of sense to me. Praying for you through the fog.

    xxoo

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  5. I know where you're at. I'm there myself... "Lord cleanse me of anything that isn't pleasing to You..."

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  6. Thankful for this and for you, Cory. I've been feeling like I've been in a fog too. Thanks for being vulnerable with us and sharing the hard times. Praying for you!

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