MY THOUGHTS

When I was in college (& just starting to date Dusty) I was very aware of making sure I was guarding my heart. I thought a lot about the Lord in each situation & what it looked like to give Him my all. I wanted to make sure that I was focused on Him & not my new relationship, college work, new friends, leading YL, etc. I didn't want little bits of this nasty world to take up my time, but I wanted to be focused on the Lord. Dusty asked me often how I was guarding my heart & I had friends that kept me accountable. There is one verse that shook me deeply when a was a baby college student & has definitely continued to affect my heart. 

"Therefore, holy brother, who share in the heavenly calling, FIX YOUR THOUGHTS ON JESUS, the apostle & high priest whom we confess."

                                                                          Hebrews 3:1

Fixing your thoughts on Jesus! That was it! That was how I was supposed to guard my heart from all the other things that want in. I would repeat small breath prayers as I walked between classes. I memorized scriptures that I would meditate on in my head no matter what else I was doing. It was such a time of change & growth. I was very aware of the Lord's presence in very mundane moments & it gave each second of my day great purpose. 

I look back at this time with great longing. I have been really struggling with this lately. I so desire to recognize & meditate on the Lord's presence in each moment of the day. But, you know what? It is really hard to do as a mom. It's funny really. As a busy (or what I thought was busy at the time...I really had no idea!) college student, I was able to complete my tasks & focus on scripture & serving the Lord as I went about. It is SO much more difficult as a mother. Aside from the fact that being pregnant & birthing children has in general turned my brain to mush, these children are under my constant care. I have to think about feeding, changing, bathing, playing, learning, training, disciplining & a million other things all at once. While I have great quiet times alone with the Lord, I am struggling with the constant focus of my mind. I'm still memorizing large chunks of scripture, but it has been so much more difficult to meditate on them throughout the day. 

So I guess this has just been a little something on my heart lately. I've taken lots of steps to hopefully help me fill my thoughts with truth. I have placed scripture & truth throughout our home, I started a new devotional that really speaks to this & have pulled out specific verses & prayers to think on throughout the day. 

I want each moment of my day to have purpose. I want to find peace, beauty & grace in the mundane. 

"Learn to hide in the secret of My Presence, even as you carry out your duties in the world."

"Fill up the spare moments of your life with praise and thanksgiving. This joyous discipline will help you live in the intimacy of My Presence." 

                                                                    Jesus Calling (January 3 & January 7)