THE DAYS ARE HARD

I remember hearing that a lot when James was little. People would remind me that the days can be hard & long, but each little season will fly by. Heck, I've even told people that before. It's a great encouragement.

But, right now people, the days are hard.

It's strange, since it isn't due to the newborn in the house. Yes, hate me if you want, but Evelyn is great. She eats & sleeps beautifully.

It's the almost 2 year old.

Don't hear me wrong. James is awesome. He is so fun & we really do enjoy each other. But, what seems to be the "terrible twos" are in full force. This stage of parenting has by far been the hardest for me. It is an entirely new form of exhaustion.

It breaks my heart to watch him purposefully disobey us. It stirs up pain in me when I see him look at me & turn to do the exact thing he knows he isn't allowed to do.

I want there to be consistent God-honoring discipline in our home. This has been the most difficult thing I've had to do.

It's hard to be consistent all the time. It is exhausting & sometime I really just want to ignore bad behavior & not deal with any of it.

It's hard to discipline in a way that is glorifying to the Lord all the time. I want to yell, scream & throw a tantrum just like my son.

So what do I do?

I remind myself that I am a sinner before a Holy God, who desires to love me deeply. He has asked for obedience, but I deliberately disobey everyday. Yet, the Lord lavishes me with grace & love & continues to draw me close.

So that is what I will do with my son.

I will remember that there are good, beautiful things going on in the heart of my son. I will pray & pray & pray. I will seek wisdom & guidance from other mothers. I will fail over & over again. I will show grace & constantly ask for grace for myself. All the while holding onto the truth that each day seems long & hard, but these seasons go too fast.